The saddest thing i have ever seen

So when it comes to cruch time i am the one who stays in control, when it comes to my kids anyways, but poor wayne has a nervous stomach and nearly passes out anytime the kids even catch a cold. I don't really blame him for this reaction, i truly think that it is genetic. And besides i would be lying if i said that i didn't cry at scary situations but i fight it back until the end because someone has to act first, or at least that is what i normally do. So carson and landen were playing with the couch cushions on the floor yesterday, they had taken them off the couch and lined them up to create a bridge. After a couple of minutes of crawling back and forth across them Landen pulls out one of the cushions from right under Carson sending him flying and landing straight on the back of his head. I heard the loud thud and dashed to pick him up, he was already screaming and crying in pain and i held him tight to try to comfort him and explaining to landen at the same time that we can't do that because obiviously it hurt carson. Still trying to calm carson, i sat in the recliner, and almost as if my action had been the cause, carson threw up all over us. So i immediately cleaned us up and then came back to clean up the mess. At this point i am wondering if he is suffering from a concussion. So i checked his eyes and kept him awake. He went back to playing, and i watched him for about an hour passed his bed time just to make sure he was fine. He seemed normal so i put him to bed. Then i laid landen down and started getting ready for bed myself. Then i heard carson throw up in his crib. I ran in there and got him, and bathed him yet again, cleaned his sheets and called marsha to ask about concussions. She looked it up in her medical book of everything, and stated the vomitting could occur but to seek immediate help if it persists after 8 hours. so far it had been about 3 hours, accident occurred around 8 and i made the phone call at 11 pm. so at this point i am wishing that wayne were home, instead of in raleigh for a stupid wrestling match, so he could give carson a blessing. So i spent the next couple of hours trying to call his cell and texting him things like, emergency!!, call now! Finally he calls back and asks what happened, i tell him and he nearly passes out from the news, frustrated i order him to get it together and get home. finally he arrives about 1:30 am. carson had throw up a couple more times and i asked wayne to call his dad to come help give carson and blessing and i was going to call the doctor. So the doctor said to take carson into the ER so we waited for wayne's parents so that they could give him and blessing and then watch landen while we were gone. so we left about 2 am. we spent about 2 and a half hours at the ER. while we were they most of the time we spent waiting, of course, and then when the doctor came in carson was exhausted and squirming and crying. after talking to the doc and him doing a small exam he decided that they were going to have to do a cat scan to make sure that there was no internal bleeding, when there is internal bleeding pressure builds inside the skull and therefore the body tries to relieve pressure from other areas, thus the vomitting, to keep the body in balance. So i am a little scared by the thought, but i didn't feel like this was going to be the case, after the blessing i felt like everything was going to be fine, but still unnerving news because when they do a cat scan on a baby it exposes them to high amounts of radiation (about the equilivent of taking 50 xrays of their brain, that is high for a one year old). Then looking at carson squirming in my arms the doctor he tells me that he is going to have to drug the baby to make him tried, and they were going to have to give it to him through an iv, what!! carson would never go for that. so when the doctor left to go tell someone to give him the medication, i said a quick prayer and started trying really hard to get carson to fall asleep (note: i had been doing this for almost an hour, but now it was crucial). Wayne would really have passed out at the sight of that. So after about 10 to 15 minutes carson was finally out. so wayne went and told them and they came and rolled carson out of the room on the little bed that he was laying on. wayne stayed in the room while i followed the nurse, which was okay because they only needed one of us anyways. So until this time i had been nervous but in control and tried not to think about it too much. But then i picked him up and laid him on the other table laying his head in a foam brace. The nurse began wrapping him with, i think they are lead, i can't remember aprons and put a cafeteria lady hat on his head and i lost it, tears unwillingly streamed down my face. and once tears start they take over, i have never been able to just stop crying until my tear ducts just automatically stopped producing the tears on their own. He was such a sad sight laying sleeping and all wrapped up to where only his face and the top of his head shown. Then all the fears i had tried to suppress ran swiftly through my mind, what if there was internal bleeding, what would that mean, what would we have to do next, what if the radiation exposure caused mutation and he ended up with cancer or tumors later in life? I am sure the nurse was like what is her problem, but watching him as the red lights swirled about his face was definitely the saddest thing i had ever seen. So it didn't take long and we went back to our room to wait. The doctor came back and let us know that everything looked fine and told us some things to watch out for and then we were able to go at 4:30 am. we were exhausted. But we were also so blessed, i know the Lord is bound to think that i am needy because anytime anything happens that is the first thing i think of. But it is because i have the faith the Heavenly Father will take care of my kids, even when i feel helpless.